What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize