The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
