Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
