before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
