dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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