Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I can text with my tongue
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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