My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
