her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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