It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
bring money and cleavage
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
