So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Boobs are out for the taking
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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