He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There's always time for handjobs
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.