Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed