2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
