I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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