do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
