Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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