Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
