When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
