Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
