youre lurking in front of me
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
