She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
