I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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