You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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