I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
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this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
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I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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