Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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