Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
