Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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