I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
