he told me I talked like a deaf person
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
