So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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