piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You left your phone here
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