Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
