I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
