found the other keg... it's in the tree
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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