i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
