Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
