Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
