it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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