You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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