matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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