just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
