Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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