That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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