so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
