apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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