I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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