I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
