Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
how does that bad decision feel?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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