I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
