am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
