we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
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He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
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I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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