i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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