grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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