No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
