Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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