And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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