I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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