she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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