my phone cant type all the emotion im having
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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