forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
