This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
