I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
