NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
