I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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